This week a man who had prostate surgery posted a message on a forum that touched my heart and quite frankly ticked me off at the way men with prostate cancer are treated. Just 9 weeks post surgery he said this:
The physical pain from the surgery is gone but everything else is
deteriorating. There is not a minute where I don't regret my decision and
prefer to just evaporate. There is no denying it; I am now a freak. I don't
respect myself and, in all honesty, I don't know how others would respect
me either. Sleep is now my only comfort. Perhaps a very deep sleep will
help me to evaporate, permanently.
The despair this man feels is gut wrenching to read. The permanent changes brought about by prostate surgery are extremely difficult to cope with. I know because I've had to adjust to these changes myself. If you go to the websites that promote robotic prostate surgery, you are given the impression, afters surgery all will be well in a few short weeks. This is partly true but mostly a lie.
The truthful part is the recovery time from robotic surgery is amazingly quick. I had my appendix removed in my 20’s and it took me a few weeks to walk around the block following my appendectomy. 3 days after robotic surgery I was able to walk a mile without any difficulty what so ever. Big deal. I've known men who returned to work 2 weeks after Robotic Surgery. Not me, I needed to stay home for 3 months. I found living in diapers, and needing to change myself 15 times a day was as close to living in hell as I want to experience in his lifetime.
My sexuality came to an abrupt end. Constantly leaking urine is a romance killer. I wasn't leaking small drops of urine, it was a lot of urine and that was during foreplay. It got much worse at the time of orgasm, because ejaculation was replaced by urination. Rather than ejaculate, I’d urinate. That was not a welcome change or one I was prepared to face. For me this, development ended my desire for sex.
If all of that wasn't bad enough, it get’s worse. Erectile dysfunction is another common side effect of prostate surgery. The majority of men loose the ability to obtain an erection for 18-24 months. I’m 19 months post- surgery and I've yet to experience a spontaneous erection since my surgery. It takes a heavy toll on a man’s sense of value and self-worth. It also has a major impact on a man’s relationship with his partner.
If you are thinking about Robotic Surgery often called Da Vinci Surgery I invite you to read my book titled I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where’s Yours? Available at:
Barnes & Noble
The Kindle Edition sells for $2.99
If you need support or have questions prior to prostate surgery please visit me at:
If you are having trouble adjusting to life after prostate surgery, please buy my book and visit me here:
If you’ve had surgery, I’d appreciate you participating in a 4 question poll here:
It's time to speak the truth so men aren't surprised by despair after their prostate surgery.