Receiving A Diagnosis of Prostate Cancer is a Disruptive Moment

Disruptive moments are what Gordon MacDonald, author of The Life God Blesses, describes as an unpleasant slice of life . Disruptive moments frequently occur in the context of what begins as a routine day. Suddenly and unexpectedly, something happens that brings about an unwanted, unwelcome, and sometimes catastrophic change in your circumstances, health, or well-being.

On one such routine day for me, I had a doctor’s appointment to obtain a prescription refill. While I sat in the waiting room, thanking God for my current state of good health, I could never have imagined that was I was fifteen minutes way from experiencing a disruptive moment.  During my appointment, my urologist examined my prostate. He felt a “suspicious lump,” which a biopsy would later confirm was prostate cancer.

Philippians 4:6–7 came to mind. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (NKJ, Thomas Nelson). Unfortunately, I didn’t experience a reduction in anxiety or the peace of God.

I knew too many people who had died from a variety of different cancers.  Additionally, I’d spent two years as a medical social worker. I left that career, and my wife left her career in medical oncology because of our mutual need to get away from suffering and death. The diagnosis of prostate cancer brought these words to my mind: excruciating pain, suffering, and death.

Based on my experiences with cancer, I felt fear, terror, and endured many sleepless nights. The fact that my faith made little or no difference in the way I was coping intensified my fears. During this phase in my journey, I prayed for three things: wisdom—because I needed to chose a way to treat my cancer; peace—because sleepless nights were interfering with my ability to cope; and the ability to find humor everywhere I could. Our prayers and the prayers of others were answered.

It became evident to us we were called to write a book to help others cope with prostate cancer. Since we’ve written our book, we’ve had the opportunity to share our experiences on radio talk shows.  I’ve been invited to write articles for magazines. I designed and host an online, faith-based pre- and post-prostate surgery support forum, which receives thousands of page views per month.  This month, our local newspaper is doing a feature story about our ministry. We stand in awe at the number of doors that continue to open for us to help others. None of this would have or could have happened if we ignored the call to write our book.

Connect with Rick Redner: http://www.whereisyourprostate.com/

Thanksgiving Day Thoughts From a Prostate Cancer Survivor

Thanksgiving thoughts -I find it very easy to be thankful when great things happen, when the blessings flow, and things are going my way. In fact on most Thanksgiving meals we go around the table and share something positive that happened during the year that we're thankful for. 

For me the most amazing verses the in Bible about thanksgiving are from: Hab 3:17-18

Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls--
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation. 

All those events taken together spell nothing less than a disaster of immense proportions. Even though Habakkuk lived through these events, his reaction was to rejoice in the Lord. That doesn't mean he was glad or happy about the awful things that happened. It means he re-focused his attention from his circumstances to a God who loved him. 

I certainly didn't feel like rejoicing in the Lord, nor did I feel the joy of my salvation when I received the news I had prostate cancer. It took many many months and sleepless nights before my faith began making a difference in how I experienced the reality of living life without my prostate. Almost 3 years post surgery there are issues that I experience every day that remind me that I left my prostate in San Francisco. 

After reading this verse this year,  I decided to re-focus my attention away from the things I'm  thankful for. This Thanksgiving I'm challenging myself  to take the worst things that have happened this year and find ways to rejoice in the Lord and find joy in the God of my salvation. Anyone else willing to do this?

 (I'll spend other days thanking God for the amazing blessings I've received this year.)

Am I Really "A Basket Case"?

Someone who read I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours? posted a review on Amazon.com describing my wife and me as "basket cases" I must confess I went through a range of emotions. The first was anger. I didn't mind being attacked as much having someone attack my wife.  I wanted to strike back in some way. After the anger died down, then came hurt. We poured our hearts out into that book and shared very intimate details of our lives in order to help others. I couldn't believe someone would be so callous as to call us "basket cases".


Then the learning began. It occurred  to me that whenever you step into the public eye, especially if your motivated by your faith as Brenda & I are,  you can expect to run into two types of opposition. The first is haters. They will do what they can to betray or hurt you. They take a perverse pleasure in causing you harm.

The second form of opposition is detractors. They're the folks who'll say awful things about you personally or what you are trying to do. We had our first experience with a Detractor with someone who reviewed our book on an Amazon Review. He used his review to attack Brenda & I personally.

I've learned can't reason with a hater or detractor, It's God who has the power to transform Haters and Detractors. Paul was a hater. He help kill new believers.He was transformed by the Lord. That's what you do with Detractors and Haters, turn them over to Jesus.
The last thing you want to do is attempt to reason with them. That effort is doomed to fail.

One of the most amazing things about Jesus is how often He prepares you for what you'll face in this word:
John 15:18-19
If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

If you are out there doing serving the Lord expect to experience opposition from Haters and Detractors. When you do REJOICE!

I would preferred to read when Haters & Detractors surround you fight back. Fighting back frequently involves responding to sin in the flesh with sinful strategies. That is the way of the world and every Christian has done this in their lives more than once. The Bible gives us the opportunity to respond differently. Rather than to feel angry and seek revenge the Bible tells us that's not now how to respond to a blessing.

Luke 6:22-23
Blessed are you when men hate you,And when they exclude you,
And revile you, and cast out your name as evil,For the Son of Man's sake. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy! For indeed your reward is great in heaven,

That said, sometimes it's also appropriate to take action.Since I believe it is against Amazon policy to write personal attacks in reviews, I reported the Review to Amazon.

So today I received a double blessing. It took restraint and self control on my part to follow this directive:

Eph 4:26
Be angry, and do not sin

Yet I found a way to do that. I wrote amazon asking if that personal attack could be edited out of the review. Whether they do that or not, I felt good that I took appropriate action rather than find a way to strike back at the person who wrote the review. So I got angry, but didn't sin. That was a good spiritual lesson.


The second and most important opportunity is to learn is to experience the gift only our Haters and Detractors. When we can see things from an eternal perspective we have the opportunity to rejoice and leap for joy. I'm not there yet, but each day brings me closer.

A Christmas Message

During this season the words merry or happy are used frequently. We say things like Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Thanksgiving or Happy New Year. When we say that, we are expressing our desire for that person to experience happiness during the holidays. The Season by itself has no inherent power to bring about happiness. In fact many people find themselves seriously depressed during the Holiday Season. That’s especially true if someone near and dear to you died. His or her absence is felt more powerfully at this time.

Because of the cultural expectation to be happy during the holiday season we frequently embark on a search for things we think will bring us the happiness we are supposed to feel. More often than not, despite all our efforts, many of us find that sense of happiness is very short lived.    Our happiness will be elusive if we make it conditional on a future event. So if you say to yourself “I’ll be happy when (fill in the blank)________, you’re not likely to happy for long. Even when the when wished for event comes about. I’ll give some examples. I’ll be happy I finally own or receive ________ as a gift.  I’ll be happy when I find someone to love me.  I’ll be happy when I break off this awful relationship. I’ll be happy when I have children.  I’ll be happy when my children are grown and leave home. The list is unique for each of us, but results are similar.  When the wished for circumstance happens, we’ll  experience an increased measure of happiness, which over the course of a few days or weeks all but disappears.

Scientists have studied this issue and have come up some interesting conclusions. I’ll share some of them. First, that positive circumstances, meaning the things you believe will make you happy accounts for about 10% of the happiness you’ll feel.  Another interesting finding is that most people have a set point for how happy they will be.  So everyone will experience a rise in happiness in reaction of receiving a gift or a experiencing a positive life event. Over time, you’ll drop back down to your set point until something novel causes it to rise again. That’s often what drives people to seek out pleasure. They get bored with their set point and need do something even though in the long term it might be destructive, as long as it moves the needle of happiness up for a brief period of time. Ask someone who is hooked on shopping how long the purchase of a single item provides them with a feeling of pleasure.

So, what is it that can bring us lasting joy and happiness?  I think all of us at one time or another seriously believe that having more money  would make us happy. Next time you are at the grocery store take a look at some of the magazines that feature the rich and the famous. Their lives are often much messy than our own lives. Drugs, alcohol, unfaithfulness, and divorce, which are all very common among that group, is an indication their wealth and fame didn’t buy them a happy life.

If more money, a change in circumstances, or possessing new and expensive stuff won’t make you happy what will?
Many years ago a very rich and powerful man conducted what I believe is the best study in human happiness ever performed. He published his findings in a book called the Bible in a Chapter called Ecclesiastes. I’ll spend the rest of this letter sharing some of the conclusions from his study.

The Beatles were right-Money Can’t Buy Me Love (or happiness)  Finding#1  Eccl 5:10 He who loves silver will not be satisfied with silver; Nor he who loves abundance, with increase. Increasing amounts of money can’t bring permanent happiness. In fact it could lead to an obsession to earn more.

The words from the song “You Gotta Have Friends” is also true. Living life in isolation is a formula which keeps in the bad stuff of life inside. In addition it prevents the good stuff that life and relationships have to offer to enter into our lives. We were not created to live life alone.  Finding#2  Eccl 4:9-10
Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.

This doesn’t mean you must be married in order to be happy. There are lots of married people who are miserable. It means you need to have friends and/or family that have your back, who you can rely on, and who love you with the love that’s meaningful to you. It also means you have people in your life that you love with a sacrificial love.

Finally, if you desire to live a joyful life, it can’t be done without applying Finding #3 to your life.
 Eccl 2:24-26
 Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also, I saw, was from the hand of God. For who can eat, or who can have enjoyment, more than I?  For God gives wisdom and knowledge and joy to a man who is good in His sight; but to the sinner He gives the work of gathering and collecting, that he may give to him who is good.

That which will truly bless your life and provide you lasting happiness, is wisdom, knowledge and an attitude of gratitude to giver of all things. Joy comes from the hand of God.  So check your focus during the holidays. Is it about parties, presents, and shopping or good food? Or will remember Jesus is the reason for the season. We will experience His love and blessing this time of the year? Will you share those blessings with others? We you live with an attitude of gratitude for what you’ve been given, or will you be jealous of those who have more. For this season and every season of your life, happiness is a result of your attitudes and the choices you’ll make based upon what it is you value. Therefore,  CHOOSE WISELY. Remember that the Creator of this Universe wants to have an intimate relationship with you.  He’s the giver of  eternal joy. That’s a joy we experience here and now. It’s also the joy that we take with us into eternity. It’s my prayer that the joy of the Lord be with you this season and in every season of your life.

Death & Dying From A Christian Perspective

Two unrelated events occurred together and ended up making a strange connection in my mind. The first event was the death of my sister in law's husband. Two years ago he was healthy. He had every reason to believe he'd live another twenty years or more. In the course of eighteen months took away his good health, and then his life.

The second event paired with this death is all the decorations I see in the stores for Halloween. There are many masks and other items that make death and dying look very gruesome. These images aren't limited to Halloween. If you turn on the TV and watch any Detective show you'll see many gruesome images of death, murder and mayhem. According to the University of Michigan Health System, by the time a child is 18 they will have seen 200,000 violent acts and 16,000 murders. I can't help but wonder how these experiences shape and influence our thoughts and fears related to death and dying”

As I've entered the sixth decade of my life I've experienced the loss of Grandparents, Parents, Aunts, Uncles, and friends. Some of those deaths were sudden and unexpected. Others were long and drawn out involving a significant amount of medical care and pain.

When I evaluate the source of my fears, it isn't about dying. It's much more to do with the process which I've witnessed too many times. Far too often dying involves a long, drawn out period of time filled with pain and the humiliation of the loss of body functions like urinary or bowel control. I've always appreciated a quote attributed to Woody Allen who said, “I don't mind dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens.” Neither do I.

There are some very specific verses in the Bible, which shapes my thoughts about death in a very positive way. In fact I wouldn't want to face the prospect of dying without this knowledge, beliefs and faith.

To the thief on the cross next to Jesus, Jesus said to him in Luke 23:42-43
Then he said to Jesus, "Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom." And Jesus said to him, "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise."

That's an amazing promise, on the day of your death, if you believe Jesus is your Lord and Savior you are with Him in Paradise. Paul tells us this journey happens in the blink of an eye when he writes in 2 Cor 5:8
We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

I like the immediacy of the promise. Death is the beginning of a journey. The Bible distinguishes between our Spirit which never dies and our body which does. According to the Bible the separation from our body is temporary because there will come a day in which our spirit will inhabit a new body which is both incorruptible and immortal.

In 1 Cor 15:53-55 Paul describes this process very clearly.
For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." "O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?"  

Halloween presents images of death and dying that are in direct contrast to the Biblical images of death. I find it difficult to break free of the cultural images of death. For me to do this it involves spending more time focusing my attention on the Biblical passages about death and dying. How about you? What's a greater influence on your life, is it the cultural images of death and dying or the Biblical images and promises about death and dying?

As a man in his sixties, also diagnosed with prostate cancer, I've long past the time of "youth's universal illusion of immortality" Sooner than later I will face the prospect of dying.


 I'm grateful to and comforted by Paul who immersed himself in this topic and concluded with a victorious shout “O Death, where is your sting” and to the one who defeated death, Jesus Christ.

If you are someone you love is dying of cancer, visit my website. While it's main focus is coping with life before and after prostate surgery, there are also helpful links to anyone who is facing death as a result of cancer. Here's the link:
Welcome Page

Christians Coping With Prostate Cancer

Before anyone takes offense with this post, I want to assure anyone of any faith or no faith at all they are welcome to join our Pre and Post Surgery Prostate Cancer Support Forums. There you'll find information that you won't find in other places. It's my goal to help every man with prostate cancer to base their treatment decision on the facts there are provided about their disease rather than their fear of cancer.

My specific area of focus is  prostate surgery. There are other sites to get information about the various options to treat prostate cancer. My goal is not to promote or bash surgery, my goal is to inform and provide accurate information which is lacking in most of the sites which promote surgery as the treatment of choice.

Coping with prostate cancer is a life long journey. According to an unscientific poll on my website, men were asked if they were satisfied with their post-surgery sexuality.  Only 5% of the men who responded were happy with their sexuality following prostate surgery.

It doesn’t take a scientific study to determine that for the majority of men who chose surgery there will be undesirable changes which continue for years, and for many couples for the rest of their lives. These changes have the potential to cause an identity crisis in men as they find themselves unable to perform at levels prior to surgery.

Since the majority of men often link their identity and manhood to their performance in the bedroom, it’s very likely man men will experience a post-surgical depression even when surgery has cured them of cancer. The question for many men is how their faith will impact this crisis.

Is there a place for Christian men to go for help coping with prostate cancer?  I’m happy to report there is. If you are interested in discussing and learning about how faith makes a difference in coping with prostate cancer please visit the following sites:
Don't Waste Your Cancer
Post-Surgery Forum Thread on Faith
How to obtain a forever healing
Why my faith made a difference in the way I faced cancer
Some of the Bible verses that came true in my life

 If you or someone you know is coping with prostate cancer share this blog with them. If you are the one coping or your partner has prostate cancer I hope you'll visit my website:
I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours? Website

When you do, I hope you’ll join the forum and become an active member sharing how faith does impact the way men and couples cope with prostate cancer. Here's one promise that meant a lot to me throughout this long journey of coping with prostate cancer and life without a prostate:
Rom 5:3-5
And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance;  and perseverance, character; and character, hope.  Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

If you need information about surgery visit the pre and post surgery forums which you can link to from my website.
Blessing to you and your family as you make treatment decisions and learn to cope with life as someone with prostate cancer.
Rick

How a story about Prostate Cancer Will Appear In Modesto Bee When I Gave Up

For many months I've been writing our local paper the Modesto Bee asking them to do a story about prostate cancer. I wrote letters to many reporters. When one responded,  I asked my Publicist to contact the Bee. I thought a Publicist would get the results I was unable to obtain. He requests were also ignored. I wasn't ready to quit so I wrote a letter to the opinion column hoping to get my letter about prostate cancer published. My letter was not chosen to appear in the paper.

Next I went on-line to ask people to write a letter to the Editor hoping that there would be strength in numbers. When all my attempts failed, I comforted myself by telling myself I’d fought the good fight. I congratulated myself for the many different and creative ways I tried to get our paper to do a story about prostate cancer. I committed myself to trying again next year for Prostate Cancer Awareness Month 2014

On the day I made peace with giving up, a Modesto Bee Reporter who was helping me place an ad in the paper gave me the suggestion to call the Editor directly. I thought I have nothing to lose, so I placed the call. I didn't expect anything to happen. A few hours later a Modesto Bee Reporter called me. I told why I thought I would be important for the Modesto Bee to write a story about prostate cancer. I shared the statistic that 1 in 6 men will receive this diagnosis in their lifetime and with early detection prostate cancer can be cured. I shared my belief that a story in the Modesto Bee would save many lives. To my surprise he agreed to do a story about prostate cancer. I hung up from that phone call amazed that my final effort resulted in success.  A verse from this poem came to my mind:

“And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won, had he stuck it out;”

Just as I was ready to quit, I decided one more try and that try resulted in SUCCESS. So I decided to include the whole poem in this blog. If you are struggling with anything I hope this poem will encourage you.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
 When the road you are trudging seems all uphill;
 When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
 And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
 When care is pressing you down a bit -
 Rest if you must, but don't quit. 

 Life is queer with its twists and turns,
 As every one of us sometimes learns;
 And many a fellow turns about
 When he might have won, had he stuck it out;
 Don't give up though the pace seems slow;
 You may well succeed with another blow.

 Often the goal is nearer than
 It seems to a faint and faltering man;
 Often the struggler has given up
 When he might have captured the Victor's cup!
 And he learned too late, when the night came down,
 How close he was to the golden crown.

 Success is failure turned inside out,
 The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
 And you never can tell how close you are
 If may be near, when it seems afar.
 So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit,
 It is when things seem worst you must not quit. 

 Author : Unknown