Sunday, July 26, 2015

Suicide is NOT The Cure For Erectile Dysfunction

Coping with the loss of erectile functioning is often a traumatic experience for men. It's also traumatic to their partner. Unfortunately men do the very worst thing possible as they cope with this trauma. They withdraw from their partner. They withdraw physically and emotionally.

This leaves a couple struggling with a highly stressful change in their relationship coping together alone.  Coping with a crisis alone rather than together is emotionally and relationally dangerous. Here's a letter I received from a wife whose husband suffered from ED after his prostate removed:

My husband had a robotic prostatectomy in 2006.  Surgery cured his cancer but left him impotent and this killed his soul. We loved each other deeply and each of us knew that, but there was nothing I could do to heal his pain. If I tried to initiate intimacy, he would become anxious and push me away. Alternately, he would initiate intimacy when he had self-medicated with alcohol, which was difficult for me and never had a good outcome. Humor didn't go far, either. He felt damaged and wasn't a group kind of guy, so he never received professional help for his emotional pain and went deeper into depression. He committed suicide on August 7th of last year. While his impotence wasn't the only issue that drove him to his decision to end his life, it was a major factor in his feeling life wasn't worth living It's heart-breaking for our family.

I don't think a week goes by in my life where I haven't thought about this tragedy. This tragedy has all the elements of the mistakes men make they cope with ED. Here's a list of those mistakes:

*Pushing your partner away when she tries to initiate intimacy.
*Pushing your partner away emotionally. 
*Self medicating with drugs or alcohol.
*Losing your ability to laugh and enjoy humor (a symptom of depression)
*Feeling  irreparably damaged as a man.
*Refusing help of any kind

These behaviors are all to common among men coping with erectile dysfunction. I wanted to do something to help men facing erectile dysfunction, so I created an on-line forum where men could visit in the privacy of their home and receive both support and information. If you or someone you love is coping with erectile dysfunction, share this blog and link with them

Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implant Forum

Rick Redner and his wife Brenda are the authors of an awarding winning book written to help men and couples cope with life without a prostate. I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where’s Yours?
Coping With The Emotional, Relational, Spiritual & Sexual Aspects of Prostate Cancer
can  be previewed and purchased at

No comments:

Post a Comment