What a Stray Cat Taught Me about Faith

I spent more than the first half a century of my life as a cat hater. I had no use for them. I’m a committed dog lover. I could never figure out why anyone would want to have a cat as a pet. During the peak of the housing defaults, many people in our neighborhood left their cats behind. It didn’t surprise me they would do this, because I couldn’t imagine anyone liking cats.

Our daughter Kate decided she’d use her own money (because I wouldn’t waste mine) to buy a bed, and supply cat food for those cats left behind. Skitty was one of the first cats to take Kate take up on her offer of food and shelter. Kate named her Skitty because for the first year she would get close but not allow anyone to touch her. Eventually she learned to accept affection from Kate. Now Kate can pick her up, pet her, or call her from anywhere, and she will come running to Kate.

My relationship to Skitty was weird from the start. For the first year, I noticed she was willing to rub herself on the box-wood. In fact she preferred to do this rather than accept affection from Kate. During phase I simply thought of her in the same way I thought of any cat, which was to say I thought Skitty was dumb cat. It wasn’t personal, my Skitty confirmed my belief that every cat was a dumb cat.

Over the course of the next 2 years, Skitty and I developed a strange relationship. Eventually, I took to feeding her. I discovered while she’d accept food from my hand, she’d never let me pet her. This confirmed my bias toward cats and even though I fed her, I still though Skitty was as I thought all cats are…..dumb.

Even though Skitty wanted nothing to do with me, she began doing something very strange. When I would take my dog for a walk around the block, she’d follow us the entire way. Sometimes staying so close, I have my dog sit, and I’d stop the walk just to sit down and take the time to feed both Skitty and my dog.  Skitty would follow us on a ½ mile walk any time she was around to see us begin our walk.

People who saw us walking together were simply amazed that a dog and cat would walk together. They assumed I had a close relationship with this cat who followed me and the dog around the block as if we were all best friends. They were always amazed to learn that Skitty who would come to me, put her paws on my pants and reach for food, would high tail it in the opposite direction if reached down to rub her.

Skitty and I have known each other for 3 years now. I can call her, and if she’s in earshot she’ll come running to me at the sound of my voice calling out “Skitty, Skitty, Skitty”. She’ll visit me in my garage without an invitation. She continues to walk around the block with us when my wife, dog and I go for a walk.

 On very rare occasions she allows me to pet her. I’ve learned never to assume that means we’ve become friends. In the next hour or on the next day she’ll run away at the site of my hand coming toward her. She hasn’t changed that much in the last 3 years, but I have. I no longer think of Skitty as a dumb cat. She’s become a loyal friend, who comes to me when I call, and continues to join us on walks around the block. A few days in every month she’ll allow me to spend time rubbing her and enjoying my touch. It never lasts. Skitty always returns to being skittish in my company.  Kate gave her an appropriate name.

You may wonder what I could possibly learn about my faith from Skitty. I learned I’m a lot like Skitty. I learned there is a lot of Skitty in me. Skitty will not permit me to offer my best to her on a regular basis. Most of the time, she continues to choose inanimate objects to rub herself on, even when sitting close by and long to pet her. On those rare moments she’ll choose my hand or my leg to rub on. More often and not I’ll sit close by hoping she’ll choose me over the box-wood, but that rarely ever happens.

I’m sad to admit this but my relationship with Skitty often resembles my relationship with the Lord. In times of crisis, I’m like Skitty, I cry out to the Lord, I want and seek out His intimate presence and comfort. I’m not alone in this propensity. In fact the entire Old Testament is filled this awful pattern. God reaches out and does something miraculous in the lives of the Jewish people and nation. For a short time they respond with a grateful heart. As time goes on they drift away.

This isn’t limited issue isn’t limited to Old Testament times and the Jewish people. A hymn was written about this very issue. The title is Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing. The words “Prone to wonder Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love, describes our doing to the Lord what Skitty does to me.

On those days I sit beside  Skitty longing for her to make the right choice and accept my affection. Most of the time it’s rejected. Skitty will accept some good from me, but keeps herself away from experiencing the best. Our Lord longs for us to draw close every day, and if we do, we will receive His best. If we remain like Skitty, we will miss God’s best blessings for our lives.

Jesus provides those us who are prone to wonder, the parable of the lost sheep. With this story, He makes it clear no matter how long or how far we’ve been prone to wonder, He will welcome us back with open arms. If we allow the Skitty in us to pull away in those moments, we’ll live our lives on the periphery of God’s blessings. If we accept the embrace the creator of the universe always and without fail welcomes us into His open arms.

                                                     What a Cat Taught Me about Faith

I spent more the first half a century of my life as a cat hater. I had no use for them. I’m a committed dog lover. I could never figure out why anyone would want to have a cat as a pet. During the peak of the housing defaults, many people in our neighborhood left their cats behind. It didn’t surprise me they would do this, because I couldn’t imagine anyone liking cats.

Our daughter Kate decided she’d use her own money (because I wouldn’t waste mine) and buy a bed, and supply cat food to those cats left behind. Skitty was one of the first cats to take Kate take up on her offer of food and shelter. Kate named her Skitty because for the first year she would get close but not allow anyone to touch her. Eventually she learned to accept affection from Kate. Now Kate can pick her up, pet her, or call her from anywhere, and she will come running to Kate.

My relationship to Skitty is weird. For the first year, I noticed she was willing to rub herself on the box-wood. In fact she preferred to do this rather than accept affection from Kate. During phase I simply thought of her in the same way I thought of any cat, which was to say I thought Skitty was dumb cat. It wasn’t personal, I thought that way about every cat.

Over the course of the next 2 years, Skitty and I developed a strange relationship. Eventually, I took to feeding her. I discovered  she’d accept food from my hand, but she’d never let me pet her. This confirmed my bias toward cats and even though I fed her, I still though Skitty was as I though all cats are…..dumb.

Even though Skitty wanted nothing to do with me, she began doing something very strange. When I would take my dog for a walk around the block, she’d follow us the entire way. Sometimes staying so close, I have my dog sit, and I’d stop the walk just to sit down and take the time to feed both Skitty and my dog.  Skitty would follow us on a ½ mile walk any time she was around to see us begin our walk.

People who saw us walking together were simply amazed that a dog and cat would walk together. They assumed I had a close relationship with this cat who followed me and the dog around the block as if we were all best friends. They were always amazed to learn that Skitty who would come to me, put her paws on my pants and reach for food, would high tail it in the opposite direction if reached down to rub her.

Skitty and I have known each other for 3 years now. I can call her, and if she’s in earshot she’ll come running to me at the sound of my voice calling out “Skitty, Skitty, Skitty”. She’ll visit me in my garage without an invitation. She continues to walk around the block with us when my wife, dog and I go for a walk.

 On very rare occasions she allows me to pet her. I’ve learned never to assume that means we’ve become friends. In the next hour or on the next day she’ll run away at the site of my hand coming toward her. She hasn’t changed that much in the last 3 years, but I have. I no longer think of Skitty as a dumb cat. She’s become a loyal friend, who comes to me when I call, and continues to join us on walks around the block. A few days in every month she’ll allow me to spend time rubbing her and enjoying my touch. It never lasts. Skitty always returns to being skittish in my company.  Kate gave her an appropriate name.

You may wonder what I could possibly learn about my faith from Skitty. I learned I’m a lot like Skitty. I learned there is a lot of Skitty in me. Skitty will not permit me to offer my best to her on a regular basis. Most of the time, she continues to choose inanimate objects to rub herself on, even when sitting close by and long to pet her. On those rare moments she’ll choose my hand or my leg to rub on. More often and not I’ll sit close by hoping she’ll choose me over the box-wood, but that rarely ever happens.

I’m sad to admit this but my relationship with Skitty often resembles my relationship with the Lord. In times of crisis, I’m like Skitty, I cry out to the Lord, I want and seek out His intimate presence and comfort. I’m not alone in this propensity. In fact the entire Old Testament is filled this awful pattern. God reaches out and does something miraculous in the lives of the Jewish people and nation. For a short time they respond with a grateful heart. As time goes on they drift away.

This isn’t limited issue isn’t limited to Old Testament times and the Jewish people. A hymn was written about this very issue. The title is Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing. The words “Prone to wonder Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love, describes our doing to the Lord what Skitty does to me.

On those days I sit a long for Skitty to make the right choice and accept my affection. Most of the time it’s rejected. Skitty will accept some good from me, but keeps herself away from experiencing the best. Our Lord longs for us to draw close every day, and if we do, we will receive His best. If we remain like Skitty, we will miss God’s best blessings for our lives.

Jesus provides those us who are prone to wonder, the parable of the lost sheep. With this story, He makes it clear no matter how long or how far we’ve been prone to wonder, He will welcome us back with open arms. If we allow the Skitty in us to pull away in those moments, we’ll live our lives on the periphery of God’s blessings. If we accept the embrace the creator of the universe always and without fail welcomes us into His open arms.

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours? Is Published

After 2 years of writing, our book I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where’s Yours is finally published and available in hard cover, soft cover, and with low priced E-book as well. Getting off track, I have a gripe with e-books. I can’t help but wonder why some titles remain so expensive in e-book format. As the author, I had the opportunity to set my e-book price. The soft cover edition retails at $19.95 but I set the e-book price down to $2.99. That price seems both fair and reasonable. In my opinion, E-books should cost much less than paper- back editions and I’m glad I control over the price of my e-book. That was a detour, now I’ll get back the point of this piece.

Even though my book went through two professional edits, and my wife and I read it over many times, our published book contains some errors, as the majority of my writing does. In a quest for perfection, it’s easy to get so discouraged you won’t begin a project, or you’ll quit in the middle of a project you started. I’m all too familiar with the quest for perfection.

 I have a tendency to leave out words in sentences. When I proof read, I fill in the missing words in my head, so I don’t see the error on the computer screen or hear it in my head as I read. Therefore it’s inevitable everything I write will contain multiple errors.

My editor told me, I Left My Prostate in San Francisco had more than 5,000 corrections. This averages to out to 19 corrections per page. I shutter to think about how many additional errors I had that were eliminated by spell and grammar check. If I included those errors, it’s likely before any corrections were made, I had some type of error every 5 words. That’s a pitiful statistic. Even with spell and grammar check my error rate was prior to editing was 1 error per 13 words.

Given my propensity for errors, one might easily conclude that I should stay far away from blogging or writing book.  Many people look at what they do poorly and stay far away from those areas. In matters of faith, deciding to avoid something based on our abilities or disabilities is the wrong thing to do. My favorite biblical example of this comes from the life of Moses.

God had a plan a task and a mission He wanted to accomplish through Moses.  He wanted Moses to go back to Egypt with a message from Pharaoh. The message wasn’t complicated or difficult to remember. The message was so short, even I could remember this message:
Ex 5:1
Thus says the LORD God of Israel: 'Let My people go, that they may hold a feast to Me in the wilderness.'

 Moses did was most of us do. Moses performed an assessment of this strengths and weaknesses. After his evaluation he said this to the Lord in  Ex 4:10
"O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." He went on to advise God to send someone else!

How often have we passed up an opportunity because we disqualified ourselves from the challenge? More than once I became so discouraged with my propensity for errors, I wanted to quit writing I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where’s Yours? Like Moses I asked God: Are You sure You chose the right person to do this? What will I do other than to produce a mistake filled book? Those questions came from the place of discouragement.

Better, wiser, and healthier questions come from the place of discernment. Discernment recognizes the problem and looks for solutions. I didn’t want to pay thousands of dollars to an editor, but I had to if I wanted to produce a book that wasn’t filled with errors. In the process I learned that editors miss mistakes as well. Our book went through 2 rounds of professional editing. After that, my wife found more than 30 errors that were missed. Once the book was published we found a few errors both the editors and my wife missed. Oh well. If perfection were standard our book would not see the light of day.

The Bible was written to teach us about God, ourselves, our relationships, and most importantly our purpose in life.
God’s said this to Moses: Ex 4:11-12
Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the LORD?  Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.

That message wasn’t just for Moses. Those words are for us today. I needed God’s assurance as I wrote the book. Now that the book is finished I need this reassurance even more.  Finishing a book is the first step in the process of making a book successful. The next task is marketing. Marketing involves public speaking and dealing with the media. I’m blessed not only with the propensity for errors in writing, but also with speaking.

 An error in High School and the public humiliation that followed shaped my opinion of my self and my abilities for decades.

In a Social Studies class in the 7th grade the teacher asked: What right was protected by the First Amendment? I raised my hand and was called upon. I meant to say “Freedom of Speech” what came out of my mouth was “Speedum of Freech”  Forty seven years later, I can still  hear the laughter echo in my mind. I call that experience a shame anchor. Everyone has them. They are painful memories that shape who you are, and what you will and won’t do in order to avoid that familiar and painful sense of shame.

I have a choice of who and what I’m willing to believe. I can base my life and my life choices on my shame anchors, or I can base of my life and choices based on God’s promises.  God has promised He will help me know what to say and how to say it. I believe that. Does that guarantee I won’t mistake either in writing or speaking. Absolutely not! I will make plenty of mistakes. I’ve probably made some in this piece. God’s grace cover’s my mistakes, so I can laugh about them. If other people laugh at my mistakes, that’s Ok by me. We will all enjoy a good laugh together. It’s laugh without shame, it’s a laugh about our imperfections. The truth is our imperfections and mistakes can be quite funny!

The fact that I’ve published a book, blog, and I’m now engaged in marketing and public speaking I hope encourages anyone reading this to become all that God wants them to be, rather than be controlled by your imperfections, mistakes and shame anchors.

Transformations

 This weekend I joined the Alliance of Independent Authors. I was accepted into this association because I’m in the process of becoming a published author.  That's a transformation my wife & I worked to achieve for years. It's a transformation I'll be proud to attain. There are other transformations that I haven't worked for, yet taken years to achieve.

 In my wallet I currently posses a senior citizen discount card to a local restaurant. Somewhere along the line, I missed middle age. From my perspective I went from being a young married person to a senior citizen in the course of no more than a week. I often stare in the mirror wondering how I transformed from young married status to senior citizen status so quickly.

 I’ve developed a theory about this. When you are young, times moves oh so slowly. Waiting a year from the time I got my permit to the time I received my drivers license, felt like an eternity. Now decades move that quickly. So I’ve come to the conclusion that time actually speeds up the older you get. I can’t prove this scientifically, but if you ask Senior Citizens if time moves quickly you’ll get a much different than asking the same question to a teenager.

 Transformations occur over the course of time. Some are sought after, like getting a driver’s license or publishing a book. Some just happen over the course of time, like becoming a Senior Citizen.

 I have a have a hands down favorite transformation. It didn’t require any work on my part at all. One of the amazing aspects of this transformation is it’s available to anyone who asks. Once you receive it, it’s yours forever. Death cannot take away or defeat this transformation. The way to receive it is found in:
 2 Cor 5:17
 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

 I’ve experienced this transformation. Transforming into a new creation a Christ is by far the best and most valuable transformation available this side of heaven. If you have not experienced this transformation, your missing out on the best transformation that life has to offer.

 I spent decades of my life in disbelief. Now as I reflect back on every transformation I’ve experienced I’m most grateful to be a new creation in Christ. If you’ve not made that transformation, think about, pray about it, read the New Testament, seek out friends and family who’ve experienced this transformation, and ask them about it. Then you can make an informed decision whether or not you wish to become a new creation in Christ. It is by far the best and most important decision I’ve made in my lifetime. I believe that today, and I’ll believe that throughout eternity

A Fork in the Road

I’m not a fan of hardship and suffering. In fact if given the choice, I’d avoid both as often as the entrance to the path of avoidance was accessible.

When you’re diagnosed with cancer, the  path of avoidance is closed. So, like it or not, cancer puts you on a path, you’d rather not take.

Yet from a spiritual, and maturational standpoint,  this path presents an opportunity to grow and develop important character traits that cannot not and will not develop in our lives, until we pass through the fire of affliction, and suffering, on the road less traveled.

Romans 5:3-5
And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance;  and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Who wants to live without perseverance, character, and hope?

Isn’t there any easier way to develop these traits? I suspect there isn’t.

Robert Frost in his poem The Road Not Taken wrote the following:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I wonder why Robert Frost chose the road less traveled when the well traveled road was open and available. He tells us that taking the road less traveled was the correct choice. The Bible says this about the well-traveled road:

 There is a way that seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.
(Proverbs 16:25)

Each of us are confronted with many forks in the road. We must chose between the well traveled or less traveled road. The well-traveled road frequently seems right, simply because it’s the path the majority of people choose.

In my 68 years, I’ve traveled down both roads, and I’ve watched others travel down both roads. More often than not the well traveled road ends exactly the way the Bible says it will, with death.

I’ve seen marriages of 30 plus years end in divorce, when the road less traveled offered a pathway to reconciliation.

I’ve heard from a heartbroken wife, whose husband was cured of prostate cancer. Like many men who’ve had their prostate removed, he lost his ability to maintain an erection. He got stuck on the road of despair. He isolated himself from his wife, friends and family. He self medicated his pain with large doses of alcohol, every day.

Eventually, this man who was blessed with a cure to his prostate cancer, committed suicide. He left  behind a loving, bewildered, heartbroken, and grief stricken wife.

I doubt he was aware of the many options open to to men coping with erectile dysfunction after a prostatectomy. I doubt he went to a doctor to discuss options such as medication, penile injections, or penile implant surgery.

After hearing this tragic story of a man who was given a new lease on life after he was cured from cancer, only to take his own life, I wanted to do something to prevent that from happening again. It’s why my wife and I wrote the book Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants-End Your Sadness, Silence, Suffering and Shame.

My wife and I were delighted to hear from a reader who said:

“This book has immediately changed the dynamic between my wife and I.”

Right now, you might be faced with a fork in the road. Hopelessness, despair, and broken relationships is on one fork in the road. The other path isn’t easy, it takes work. It involves a change in thinking, a change in your sexuality, your emotional life, your psychological life, your relational life and your spiritual life.

Prostate cancer will not leave you where it found you. Remember one road leads to anger, bitterness, isolation, and broken relationships.

The other leads to kindness, compassion, empathy, appreciation, and a heighten ability to love.

What’s true about your relationship with yourself and other people, is also true about your faith. Prostate cancer won’t leave your faith where it found you. You will either grow closer to God and grow deeper in your faith, or let your relationship drift away.

In my ten year journey as a prostate cancer survivor, I’ve walked down both of these roads. In fact I got stuck on the road of anger, bitterness, conflict, and despair.

it took professional help, for my wife and I to take the road less traveled. As Robert Frost observed, choosing the road less traveled made all the difference!

Which road are you currently traveling? 
Is it the road you allowed yourself to drift on to?
Are you stuck? 
Do you want to live with cancer and the aftermath of treatment in a different way?

If you’re reading this article, it means you have the necessary personality trait to change the road you’re on. You’re curious, willing to hear other perspectives, which means you possess a teachable spirit.

Imagine going outside to your car. You get in, turn the key, and discover nothing happens. Your battery is dead as a door nail. What’s your next move?

The one thing you won’t do, is to stay in the car hoping your situation will change.You get out of the car and do something. You get help. That’s exactly what’s needed if you’re stuck on the wrong road coping with cancer.

Rick Redner & his wife Brenda Redner authored two award winning books, both available on Amazon. They are: 

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where’s Yours?

&

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants

Beating The Odds

                                                      Beating the Odds
Have you ever faced a challenge when you knew odds were stacked against you? How about a time when you had to take some action or make a decision when the possibility of failure would be devastating. For me, deciding how to treat prostate cancer was an example of this. I beat the odds in that I chose a course of treatment that cured me.
 For someone else, the challenge might be working up the courage to ask someone on a date, or to marry you. There are many times in life we are up against a choice of whether we will take a risk in order to beat the odds that we know in advance are stacked against us. When we purposefully go against those odds, we take the risk knowing if we fail we will suffer a costly loss, financially, relationally, emotionally, or otherwise.

When my wife and I began writing “I Left My Prostate In San Francisco-Where’s Yours?”
our mutual goal was to share our personal experiences in order to help other couples face this disease. 1 in 6 men will receive a diagnosis of prostate cancer in their lifetime. Approximately 240,000 men received this diagnosis last year.

As we were writing this book together, I didn’t realize I had a much better chance of being cured of cancer than I did writing a successful book.

Today 10/30/12 I read I this:
… the statistics for self-publishers prove dismal. The largest author services companies report: An average of 100 copies sold per title. 14.3% of authors sell more than 200 copies. 3.4% of authors sell more than 500 copies. (Marvin Cloud written in:
http://www.bookcatcher.com/articles/do-you-know-what-it-takes.php
(accessed 10/31/2012)
This means 96.6% of those who self-publish their books sell 500 copies or less. Clearly the odds are against us. We invested $6,000 purchasing an editorial and publishing package from Westbow Press. To design our website: whereisyourprostate.com we spent another few hundred dollars. We stand to lose $5,000 or more if our experiences are within the statistical norms.

That’s one way to assess the odds of whether we will succeed or fail. Fortunately our faith gives us an entirely different way to view our situation. If you are able to view the same situation with the eyes of faith, your worldview is turned upside down.

I’ll use an event in the bible to illustrate my point.  Imagine 2 powerful nations are aligned against one another in battle.  You are with your family and loved ones. You must make an important decision and the stakes are very high. One of these nations is going to lose the battle. You must chose which nation you, your family and loved ones will go to for protection. If you choose the losing side you and everyone you love will be slaughtered.

The battle between these nations will be decided on a fight between 2 people. One nation sent their mightiest warrior. He is 9 feet tall. He is wearing 125lbs of armor and a helmet of bronze. His spear is approximately 8 feet tall with a 10lbs tip. He carries a shield and a sword.

Against this mighty warrior, the opposing nation sends out a youth who is by trade, a shepherd. He has no armor or any experience in battle. His only weapon is a slingshot. Before this battle begins, it’s up to you to choose which nation you will rely on to protect you and your loved ones. Choose wrongly, you and everyone you love dies with you.

Common sense would lead you to believe the giant has to win and lead you to go to his nation for protection. Here’s the problem with that choice.

The tall guy’s name is Goliath, The small guy is David. As they face each other the big guy Goliath says:
And the Philistine said to David, "Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field!" (1 Sam 17:44)

David says this to Goliath:

You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you.
(1 Sam 17:45-46)

Both men are confident of their victory. If you only see the world through the eyes of common sense and logic, you’d side with Goliath. If you see the world through the lens of faith, David is your man.

Brenda & I see our world filtered by our faith. Despite the awful odds we believe we can and we will beat those odds. Time will tell.

Becoming unstuck with small beginings

  Luke 13:18-19
What is the kingdom of God like? And to what shall I compare it?  It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and put in his garden; and it grew and became a large tree, and the birds of the air nested in its branches."

When starting out a new project, investment, business or any endeavor, I prefer instant success. When a great new movie is released, I’m delighted when box office records are broken on the first weekend after the movie is release. I’m not as big a fan of small, slow steps along a path that takes time in order for the journey to yield success.

Jesus compared the kingdom of God to a mustard seed, which is about this size: (.)
How does it grow? It’s grows gradually. Not only that, certain conditions must be met in order for any tree to grow. The soil must contain the right nutrients. The tree must receive the right amount of mositure and sunlight in order to thrive.

What’s that mean to me. It means there are many important things in life that must start off the size of a mustard seed. Certainly our emotional and intellectual abilities start off small. Just like a mustard seed, it isn’t only the passage of time that matters. I’m 60 years of age. Unfortunately, there are times I act as if I’m 3. All of us know someone who routinely acts well below their chronological age every day of their lives. It’s very possible to get stuck in such a way the passage of time doesn’t matter.
In 1 Cor 3:2-3 Paul says to members of the Church:
I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal.

No matter our age, we don’t start on the journey of faith as an adult ready for solid food. We start as a spiritual babies needing milk.  Paul knew those he wrote to were stuck. Enough time had past where they should have matured to the point where they were ready for solid food, but they lacked the capacity to receive it.

From this passage, I’ve learned how important it is to FREQUENTLY ask yourself this question in many difference contexts. I’m trying to build some anticipation and excitement as I delay posing the question. It’s a simple question. It may disappoint you once you hear it. It won’t disappoint you if you put the question into the right context. “Here’s the question: Am I stuck?”  That doesn’t appear to be a life changing question, but it has the potential to become one if asked in the right context. Some examples:
1. Am I stuck emotionally? Or Am I growing and demonstrating evidence of that growth
2. Am I stuck relationally? Are there destructive patterns I get stuck in, do I involve myself with the same type of destructive people?
3. Am I stuck professionally? Am I using my God given talents and abilities to the fullest?
4. Am I stuck in anger or bitterness? If so, what do I need to let go of and who do I need to forgive?
5. Am I stuck in destructive patters of relating to the people I love or who love me?
6. Am I stuck spiritually-Is my life bearing the fruit of my age, experience and wisdom, have I grown the knowledge of our Lord, or am I stuck.
7. Am I stuck because I haven’t done something the Lord has called me to do?
8.  Am I stuck with old voices in past defining who I am, so I can’t become who God wants me to be.

These are potentially life-changing questions.  Since my diagnosis of prostate cancer Brenda & I know what it’s like to be stuck in destructive relational patterns. We recently returned from an amazing vacation,which helped us become unstuck. After you read this, be challenged to find the areas of life you’ve been stuck at. I hope you’ll leave me some comments to tell me about them and what you plan to do to get yourself unstuck.