Where do men get support coping with erectile dysfunction?

It's been estimated that erectile dysfunction is involved in the breakup of 25% of marriages that fail. One of the most frustrating things for partners to cope with is the anger and defensiveness of men who refuse to seek help. In addition to refusing to seek help, most men withdraw both emotionally and physically with their partner.

I'm asking men who are coping with ED to share what (if any) forms of help they've tried:
1. Consultation with a Physician
2. Talking with their partner
3. Joining an online ED forum
4. Attending an ED support group
5. Seeking advice, support & information from a friend or family member
6. Reading articles about ED online
7. Reading a book(s) about ED
8. Going at it alone without doing anything

If you've had a positive experience(s) seeking information, help or support please share the source and the results of that help.

If you've had a negative experience share that, and what you've done since that time.

If going at it alone has caused both you and your partner nothing but misery check out the book my wife and I wrote:
Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants

Don't Allow Erectile Dysfunction to Ruin Your Life

Men are stubborn creatures. When coping with erectile dysfunction their natural instinct is a flight or fight response. They'll withdraw from their partner. They'll get angry or defensive when their partner makes sexual advances or talks about the need to get help. If you are one of those stubborn men or a partner to one of those men, I have great news. You can receive effective help in the privacy of your on home.
Don't take my word for this, here's what an an Amazon reader said:

"The authors are professional in their field and their book shows it. Very well written, concise, informative, laced throughout with psychological, therapeutic and spiritual guidance, (Everything...) is a masterful journal, a handbook with extensive research, Q&A chapter endings, a lifeline for ED patients, and their partners, emotionally devastated by a future of permanent impotency and the threat of broken relationships.....
This book is highly recommended. It deserves some kind of literary award...a must reading for ED sufferers overcome with stress, shame, humiliation with no relief in sight."

Do yourself a favor, treat yourself and your partner with respect. Check out this link, search inside the book at no charge, read the reviews, then buy the book.


The Gateway to help Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants

My New Blog Site

Blog will no longer be blogging at this site. Here's the link for my new site:

My new blog location.

I made this change so I could have the opportunity to reach more people. The move accomplished that goal. On this site, each blog averaged a few dozen hits. On the new site my blog has hundreds of hits.

After careful consideration I've decided to blog in BOTH locations.

Indie book reviews of Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants

Reviews for EVERYTHING YOU NEVER WANTED TO KNOW… by Rick Redner From Indie Readers

1. I really liked the outline and overall construct of this book from Rick & Brenda Redner. It was a practical read based on the author’s own life and personal and professional experiences and helps people to understand some ED issues better and hopefully help overcome challenges in dealing with erectile dysfunction, either personally or helping someone they may know who might suffer from it. I was surprised to learn many things about this topic, from the causes, to the fallouts (both physical and emotional) and was impressed that the book and overall tone was more ‘spiritual’ than I imagined it would be. I recommend it highly to anyone wanting to improve the value of their life if they feel surgery might be helpful for them, or even if they are just exploring options. It is a very engaging read because it’s not just lecturing or facts and figures (although there is plenty of useful info there too), but relatable stories and interesting scenarios where the authors breaks down their points and uses them in real situations that we can all easily understand and apply. I read the whole thing in one evening, and it was as eye-opening as it was informative. Oh and the editing/formatting was flawless. Great job! (5 stars)

2. No matter what you go through in life, it is always nice to know someone else has gone through it too, and can be extraordinarily helpful (and comforting) to hear of their journey and see what you can learn from it. I always go into books like this with a fair  bit of skepticism, wondering truly if there will be any new, insightful information brought to the table that isn’t some gimmick, total common knowledge (I call these the ‘duh!’ self-help books) or worse— an insult to my intelligence and common sense. So as I started reading “Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction…” by Rick and Brenda Redner, I was fully prepared to see the same red flags, set the book down and call it a night. (I never claimed to be an open-minded guy). So imagine my surprise as I started in with the reading and was struck by how real and informative and just honest it all seemed. I was especially interested in the relationship aspect and how it is a team effort – what affects you affects your partner as well. This isn’t just a ‘male’ issue. Also, there are so many different avenues to explore, and I appreciate how the authors lay out different scenarios and break down the pros and cons. The interactive questions were helpful as well, and while I won’t claim that everything in this book applied for me, I was impressed (to my surprise) with how down to earth and relevant it was. The information here will help many people if they listen to what the author is saying, and I can see urologists ‘prescribing’ this to their patients to read! (5 stars)

3. After reading this book by Rick and Brenda Redner, I thought the best aspect of it was how it does such a great job of tackling a ‘taboo’ or ‘sensitive’ subject matter head on, tells it like it is, and helps to reduce (or even eliminate) and shame or fear or embarrassment one might feel if they suffer from any sort of ED. Clear and coherent chapters focus on different angles of handling the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects of ED and recognizing how to best assess one’s own situation and steps on how to change it for the better.  I thought the whole book was excellently written and quite inspiring, and I liked that it actually gives some solid solutions that can make a huge difference in people’s lives. I was engaged the whole way through and felt the whole thing from the formatting to the editing to the information was very professional and delivers a valuable message. Recommend. (5 stars)

4. This is the first book I’ve read on this subject so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but even though this isn’t something I currently deal with in my life, I’m grateful that I learned more about this topic and have a deeper understanding for what millions of people go through, and perhaps it is a reality I myself will face one day too in a relationship. But this is a very good book to help understand about how others cope with erectile dysfunction, and the ins and outs, ups and downs (pardon the pun) of implants, and in that way we can relate it to ourselves and realize that we can do it.  Like I said, this isn’t my normal type of book, but I thought there might be something useful I could learn anyways and I was so right! It is inspiring and well-researched (with handy glossary, bibliography and index at the end). The authors have a natural writing voice that makes what they are saying very easy to grasp… and it is actually interesting stuff (not dry or boring or like a text book or something…) Recommend for adults only. (4 stars)

5. I found the articulate and engaging narrative style to be quite interesting and down-to-earth. I liked how the authors Rick and Brenda Redner uses their vast and well-researched (from personal experience as well as scientific)knowledge ‘story-style’ to make their points and relate ideas in ways that we all can fully and easily grasp. Very useful, well-written, and well put together. An important book with a clearly defined and easy to follow premise that can definitely help people who experience ED and either wish to understand it better, explore their options, or simply learn from someone who has experienced it, and what path they took to improve their situation. It is clear that the authors know what they are talking about, and fortunately are excellent writers as well. I have found that many times reading medical self-help books can either be frustrating because the author is too ‘highbrow’ and esoteric, or they just don’t present the material in a way that I feel I can relate to (or its condescending). I really appreciated the authors’ simple and direct approach and the clear steps and solutions they describe. While it may not be applicable to all, everyone can learn something and walk away with more knowledge than before. (4-5 stars)

6. This is a wonderful, very well-written and highly informative book! I have read several books on medical issues (physical and mental) and sometimes I get the sense that most are just recycling old information. This book it seems like I read a lot of new ideas presented in a way that makes a great deal of sense, even if might be perceived as somewhat ‘controversial’.  There should be no shame or stigma in erectile dysfunction, yet all too often it can be made a joke, or something that causes great distress emotionally and sexually. The content was professionally prepared, yet still friendly and intimate-feeling, and laid out in a coherent way that is easy to follow, but is meticulously researched and supported with solid evidence, scientific and anecdotal. Rick and Brenda Redner uses facts as well as real-life examples to share their perspectives on ED and ideas for solutions. Fast paced, informative, and easy to read, I recommend this book to anyone (adults) who are going through this struggle in their life or know someone who is. Each chapter gives valuable information, examples and sound advice to the readers, and is presented professionally from the first page to the last. (5 stars)

If you are coping with erectile dysfunction and/or want more information about penile
implants, check out this book
Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants

Radio Interview about Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants

My wife & I were interviewed on a radio show called Ready for Love. We spoke about our experiences with erectile dysfunction after my prostate surgery. Four years after surgery I was told I'd be impotent for the rest of my life. I went into a deep depression for many months until I stumbled on
the cure for impotence-penile implant surgery.

My wife and I shared how my long-term erectile dysfunction affected my self-esteem and our relationship.  We also discuss how penile implant surgery changed us individually, and as a couple.
This was very difficult for us to share publicly, but we wanted to get the word out. Here's the link:
Ready For Love Radio Interview

Scroll down and locate the postcast link and listen to the interview.

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants-Readers Favorite Review

Professional book reviews are very important to authors. Of all the reviews I've received so far, I've used bold font to underline my favorite comment to date. In the subtitle of my book, I made a huge promise-to end silence, sadness, sorrow & shame. The reviewer believes I delivered on my promise! It doesn't get any better than that. Now it's up to me to find ways get the word out about one of the only books written by a couple who share their experiences with penile implant surgery. Here's the review:

Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants by Rick and Brenda Redner is a work that covers everything readers would want to know about erectile dysfunction. 

This book is highly informative and filled with tools not readily accessible to millions of people suffering from erectile problems. In very simple and beautiful writing, the couple shares their journey through erectile dysfunction and the life-changing lessons they learned. 

Rick was diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer at the age of 57, but the treatment left him impotent and it was some time before he knew that this was an unalterable problem. One could imagine the frustration, the despair, and the pain the couple experienced at the time. But slowly, the couple started asking questions that would lead them to the startling truths and facts offered generously in this book. Thanks to their research, collaboration with experts in the industry, and their diligent commitment to finding lasting solutions, they discovered the alternative solutions contained in this excellent book.

For many people, erectile dysfunction and impotence could mean the absence of a healthy and dynamic sex life, but the authors think differently. They offer alternative solutions that couples can explore in order to find their own way of enjoying a good sex life. The subtitle of this book reads: End Your Silence, Sadness, Suffering, and Shame. It is a huge promise, and what is astonishing is that Rick and Brenda Redner deliver what they promise in the title of their work in an amazing way. 

To help readers handle the frustration that could lead to ill health, as well as physical, psychological, and emotional pain, anger, and recklessness, the authors share their story with honesty and clarity, providing soul-searching questions that can help readers identify their most pressing concerns, create a new sexual language, and discover the solution that is best for them. Whether you are suffering from impotence or not, this book has a lot that will enrich the life of any couple.

Available at:
Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants

Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants-SPR Review

In order to get the word out and give men and couples assurance our book about erectile dysfunction is worth both your time and money to buy, I'm going to post a series book professional book reviews.
Here's the first from Self Publishing Review. It's a four star review. If you want to read it directly from their website you can go here:
Book Review of Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants

For those who simply want to read the review, here it is:

"Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants by Rick and Brenda Redner is an informative and important book.

There are certain books that may be uncomfortable to pick up in a bookstore, or leave lying about on your coffee table, even if their subject matter is completely normal, and something that affects tens of millions of men around the world. Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants has a bold title that leaves little mystery as to the subject matter, but readers might be surprised by the value and insightful wisdom offered within this book’s pages.

Jointly written by Rick and his wife, a registered nurse, this book tells their story living through the extreme highs and lows of prostate cancer, survival, surgery, impotence, Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and eventually Penile Implants. While the subject matter may make some men quiver, the fact is that more than 200,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year, and more than 30 million men suffer from some form of Erectile Dysfunction – in the United States alone! As a man who walked through the fire alongside his wife, overcoming the undeniable difficulties and emotional insecurities associated with such a series of events, Rick Redner has a unique perspective coupled with a sharp and honest pen.

Rather than focusing solely on Rick Redner’s personal experience, the deep research into the subject is clearly apparent, and the authors write with an authority and surety that lends credibility almost immediately. The pace of the text is patient and encouraging, but not condescending or shame-inducing in any way. Despite the Rick Redner’s surgical choice to remedy his ED, this book does not attempt to sway any opinions or tell readers the “right” thing to do. Instead, it presents all arguments and perspectives, making the content accessible and engaging for a wide range of consumers, from men concerned with the future of their sexual health to those currently wrestling with serious ED issues.

Each chapter closes with a series of simple questions that allows for personal reflection on the content of each section, driving home some of the important points. These brief reviews also stressed actions or options that readers can take, rather than just blindly pushing forward into the next subject or topic. The book is clearly written with the intention of helping other people in mind. The thorough detail reveals the authors’ sincere passion and interest in the subject, given how significantly it changed their lives. What readers are left with is a sincere, insightful and supportive guide for couples and individual men who are facing similar struggles with these issues.

Part self-help book, part memoir and part specialized health guide, Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants attempts to normalize a common condition, and remove the embarrassment and shame that so often accompanies it. The writing is striking in its frank, delicate handling of complex emotions, and a positive attitude, revealing a true sensitivity within the authors and an inherent desire to write for the benefit of others.

The chapters were well organized and neatly edited, making it possible to pick up this book at any point in your journey and find something relevant to your current struggles or concerns. That said, the order of content also makes it function as a “start to finish” type guide, and the personal anecdotes mixed with straightforward advice and wisdom give the book a distinctly narrative feel. Rick Redner and his wife are talented writers and courageous survivors who are willing to share their experiences and readers should find value within them.

If you or someone you love is coping with erectile dysfunction, tell them about this newly released book.

Rick Redner

Giveaways of Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants

Unless you're a celebrity, every author who has written a book faces a daunting task getting the word out that they've written a book worth reading. The challenge facing every author is how to go about that process. One way to do that is to get your book into the hands of readers with two hopes.
Hope #1- They will tell other people about your book. Word of mouth is a great way to to sell a book Hope #2- Knowing the author the gave the book to them for free, the reader will express their appreciation by writing and posting a book review.

 For the entire month of August, I'm hosting a book giveaway on Goodreads. I'm giving away ten books. Here's a link for you to put your name in to receive a free book:
Goodreads Giveaway

At this time there are fifty-five  people who have entered this drawing. I will find out in September whether any of those receiving a free book will take the time to write a review. I've also given away ten soft cover and ten Kindle editions of the book, hoping to get some reviews posted on Amazon.

When I wrote my first book, paid reviews were posted on your book page. Since that time, Amazon changed it's advertising policies. Now, paid professional reviews can only be posted on the author's page but not on the book page. Reader reviews give a book credibility, improve amazon ranking, and help sell books. It's vitally important for author's to find ways to obtain reviews. I'll be giving a total of thirty books away. I share how many reviews that generates in September.

 I'm certain the book my wife and I wrote: Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants-End Your Silence, Sadness, Sorrow & Shame will make a difference in the lives of men and couples cooping with erectile dysfunction that I'll be using my blog to post professional reviews and links to buy the book. If you or your partner are struggling with erectile dysfunction, if you believe erectile dysfunction has stolen your manhood, taken away your sexuality, changed your sexuality for the worst, disqualifies you from dating or marriage I urge you to buy my book. If you've failed with every erectile dysfunction treatment option and want your erectile abilities restored, I urge you to buy my book. It's available in soft cover for $12.99 and in Kindle edition for $4.99
Here are some links:
From Amazon:
From Barnes & Noble:
From Lulu Publishing:

If you decide to buy the book, let me know if you found it helpful and if you wrote a review please let me know which site you posted your review.

Here's to finding healthy ways to cope with or cure your erectile dysfunction..
 Rick

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants

In order to increase my visibility and the number of reader reviews on Amazon, I'm hosting a give a way of my book about erectile dysfunction & penile implants. You can register here: https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/783516d40be2721a?ref_=pe_1771210_134854370#ln-en If you decide to purchase the book posting a review would be greatly appreciated as I attempt to inform the general public about the cure for ED when all other treatment options have failed

Self Published Authors BEWARE

My wife and I recently released our second book, titled-  Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants, This time around I'm determined not to make the very costly mistakes I made after we released I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?

These mistakes cost me thousands of dollars. Here's a list of very expensive mistakes:

1. I was sold an $800 package which guaranteed bookstores refunds on all unsold books they order. It     sounded great and I was convinced I'd get my book in every bookstore. The reality was I couldn't get a single book store to carry the book. A total waste of $800


2. I was sold a $1,500 press release by the publisher. If you go privately you can have a professional
    write you a press release anywhere from $250-$500. I was ripped off for $1,000.

3. Book publishers can be a rip-off. I spent $1,500 per/publisher. I hired two. My $3,000
    investment didn't get me a dozen book sales. That was $3,000 down the drain.

4. Hiring a Social Media Guy to set up a Twitter account cost $1,000. It cost me $1,000 to sell maybe
    3 books.

5. Book Reviews can make or break a book, so I went to the highly respected Kirkus review and paid
    close to $500.00 for what turned out to be a great book. I was very proud. Did that review increase
    book sales? Not at all. Another $500. down the drain.

$6,500 of my hard-earned money didn't advance sales at all. It turns out that a lot of people made a good deal of money off my book. Everyone except me!

This time I didn't use a $1,500 press release. I paid $250 to get professional help writing a release. Rather than pay a publicity agent $1,500 I paid Word Slinger Publicity $149.99 to send out a press release. Within 24 hours I had one request for a book review and a request for a radio interview. After those requests there was silence.

I've posted on Facebook, on ED forums and other places as well. So far two books were sold.
At this point the only place Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants is from Lulu.

Additional ads and reviews will be come once the book has world wide distribution. I'm proud of this book. The e-book will have more than fifty links with valuable information. It will be an interesting journey launching this book.

Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants Now Available

I never expected I'd be writing a book about erectile dysfunction and penile implants. These matters are so personal, I never told friends or family about my penile implant surgery. Now I find myself announcing it all over social media. It's a tough thing to do, but it's necessary.

Before I decided to write this book I received a note from a widow. Her husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. His surgery was a success! He was cured of cancer. He paid a high price to be cured of prostate cancer. He lost his erectile abilities. He became so depressed he began drinking. Eventually he committed suicide.

I'm fairly certain he was never informed that a surgery called penile implant surgery could have restored his erectile functioning. I didn't know it at the time, but my doctor who was my penile rehab specialist was a penile implant surgeon.

Four years after my surgery, he told me I'd be impotent for the rest of my life. I left that appointment devastated. I was seriously depressed before I reached the parking lot.

Months later, I discovered penile implant surgery was an option to treat ED. I called his office for a referral to an implant surgeon. I received the shock of my life when I was told I could make an appointment to see him because he was a penile implant surgeon!

To this day I don't understand why he didn't present that option to me on the day he told me I'd be impotent for the rest of my life. I suffered needlessly and without hope for many months. I came to understand why that cancer patient with ED killed himself.

Until my wife & I wrote our book, I don't believe there's another book like this available to men and couples coping with ED and what information to decide whether or not implant surgery is the right option.

I'm pleased and proud to share this link with you so you can obtain the help and information that wasn't available to us:
Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants

In a month or so the book will be available on Amazon and world wide. For those who decide to buy our book, I'd appreciate you writing a review, especially if you found it as helpful as I believe you will.

Erectile Dysfunction is a Thief

Yesterday 6/21 I received the front and back copy of my new book about erectile dysfunction & penile implants. As I read the copy written by the editor I was extremely disappointed. I thought there were run on sentences, grammar mistakes, and worst of all, I wasn't sure I'd buy my own book after reading their idea of what the book was about.

I did not want to write the copy for the back cover on my own. I was relieved to give this task to the professionals until I read what the professionals wrote. I knew I'd be the one to write the copy for the back cover but I also knew I had no experience or training to perform this task.

When I need to do something that I don't feel qualified to do, I know my next step is to take it to the Lord in prayer. My prayer goes something like this:
Lord, I can't do what I'm being asked to do, but I do know with your help I can get this done. So I'm asking you to give me the words I need to write, that would be pleasing to you. I can't and I won't begin until I hear from you.

Some time after this prayer, I wrote these words:

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a thief. ED takes away physical and emotional intimacy. ED steals your confidence in the bedroom. ED robs you of your manhood. ED walks off with your self-esteem. Left untreated, ED has the power and potential to destroy lives, and end relationships. Here’s a surprising fact, the sudden onset of ED can save your life. Frequently, ED is early warning signal of current or future cardiovascular problems. ED can point the way to necessary life-style changes, or the need for a medication evaluation.

In Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants: End Your Silence, Sadness, Suffering, and Shame, authors Rick and Brenda Redner help men and couples recognize and overcome the roadblocks to seeking help with ED. They guide men and couples through the depression, grief and the inevitable relational conflicts that occur when individuals and couples are forced to cope with ED. They set couples on a path to discover healthy ways to think about, talk about, live with,  or cure erectile dysfunction.

Rick and Brenda share their four-year journey with ED, and the intimate details about their experiences with penile implant surgery. You’ll learn how penile implant surgery transformed their lives emotionally, psychologically, relationally and sexually. Based on their experiences and the information provided, you’ll have the opportunity to consider whether penile implant surgery is an option worth pursuing. With or without a penile implant, men and couples will discover that enjoyable sex doesn’t end with the onset of ED. A new and exciting sex life is possible after Rick and Brenda show you the ways to send the elephant in your bedroom packing.

If you've lived with ED, I'm curious what ED has taken away from you and/or your relationship(s).

When Final Doesn't Mean Final

Have you ever done something, think you're finished, only to discover you aren't finished at all? It happens to me all the time when I'm writing a book, blog, Facebook post or talk. I read what I've written multiple times and declare "it's complete." I even go so far as to name the file final version as if by naming it that, it will become the final version. I can't count the number of final versions I've had with our new book and it's press release. Since I posted this blog, I've changed it four additional times. I'm hoping this truly is the final version of our press release. Comments and feedback are welcome.

It's ironic there's another final in my life that thankfully wasn't final. It occurred when I was told that I'd be impotent for the rest of my life.  I'm delighted that I didn't 't accept that diagnosis as final. I discovered a procedure that would cure my impotence. My wife & I decided to write a book for couples coping with erectile dysfunction and penile implant surgery.

Our book will be released this summer.

New Book Offers Hope for Men and Couples Coping With Erectile Dysfunction
One Couple’s Life-changing Journey With Impotence and Penile Implant Surgery

Written by award winning authors Richard and Brenda Redner, Everything You NEVER Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants reaches out to the 30 million American men suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED) with a single, heartfelt message: life—and great sex—is possible with erectile dysfunction. Rick thought he had lost it all after treatment for prostate cancer left him impotent, but thanks to penile implant surgery, he and Brenda enjoy a life of passion and satisfaction that exceeds their greatest hopes and expectations. In this candid book, they give a frank, detailed account of their trials and victories along the way and offer hope to other men and couples coping with erectile dysfunction.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Modesto, CA, May 19, 2016 – Due to the after effects of surgery for prostate cancer, Rick Redner became one of the 30 million men in the US who suffer from erectile dysfunction or impotence. Not only did it rob him of his sense of manhood, it also threatened to derail his marriage and left him with thoughts of suicide. Like most other men suffering from erectile dysfunction, Rick was unaware of the one medical procedure that had the potential to reverse his condition: penile implant surgery.

After exhausting all other treatment options, Rick, with his wife Brenda’s support, decided to go ahead with the procedure. Despite a few bumps along the way, the operation was a success, and it revolutionized their sex life and Rick’s self-esteem. More importantly, the Redners’ journey through erectile dysfunction and penile implant surgery deepened and strengthened their marriage and their faith in God.

In a compelling and potentially life-changing new book, Everything You NEVER Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants, Rick and Brenda take readers from the hospital to the bedroom as they share the intimate details of how penile implant surgery changed their lives emotionally, psychologically, relationally, and sexually. They are frank about their defeats, their victories, and the life-changing lessons they learned along the way.

After reading the Redners’ story, readers will know how to recognize and overcome the various roadblocks that prevent men and couples from seeking help with erectile dysfunction and how to determine whether penile implant surgery is the right option for them. They’ll discover healthy ways to think, talk about, live with, or cure erectile dysfunction, thereby empowering couples to end their silence, sadness, suffering, and shame associated with erectile dysfunction. Most importantly, couples coping with erectile dysfunction will discover how to develop a new and exciting sex life with or without a penile implant. In addition to the Redners’ story, the book is packed with all sorts of practical tips, resources, and links to help readers learn more about coping with erectile dysfunction and penile implant surgery.

The Redners were motivated to write this book following their fruitless search for resources to guide men and couples through the devastation of erectile dysfunction and the potential treatment options available, particularly penile implants. When diagnosed with erectile dysfunction, many men accept it as a life sentence. The Redners are on a mission to let people know that penile implant surgery is the single best solution to restore the physical and emotional intimacy that couples coping with erectile dysfunction thought they had lost forever.

 “Erectile dysfunction is a thief,” Rick says. “It steals hope, intimacy, and self-esteem, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Far too many men allow their fear, embarrassment or shame, drive them into hiding or self-destructive behaviors. Holding hands, back rubs, kissing, and all physical expressions of love are transformed into bitter reminders of what’s lost. This leads men to withdraw from all forms of physical affection. It’s important for men to learn how to break this destructive cycle of thinking in order to restore their ability to give and receive affection.”

Brenda could not be more enthusiastic about the positive changes penile implant surgery has had on their marriage. “Our sexual relationship has blossomed to a point beyond what we could have ever imagined. We have grown to love and cherish each other more than ever.”

This is the Redners’ second book together. To help couples face the challenges of living—and loving—without a prostate, Rick and Brenda wrote their award-winning book I Left My Prostate in San Francisco—Where’s Yours? (2013). Rick is also active online and elsewhere encouraging and counseling men and couples who are dealing with the effects of prostate surgery, cancer, and erectile dysfunction.

About the Authors:
Rick Redner received his master’s degree in social work from Michigan State University. He has spent many years working as a medical and psychiatric social worker.

Brenda Redner received her RN/BSN at Michigan State University. She has worked in oncology, home health nursing, psychiatric nursing, and teaching.

Contact: Richard Redner & Brenda Redner, copingwithed@gmail.com/209-345-3278

For more news and information, visit their website: http://www.whereisyourprostate.com/

Unwanted Change is a Fact of Life

I think it's fair to say the older we get the greater the frequency and intensity of unwanted change we'll experience in our lives. Since this is a prostate cancer blog, the odds are you or someone you love experienced the unwanted change of receiving a diagnosis of  prostate cancer. Treating prostate cancer can bring about additional unwanted changes.

To this day, I can't decide which was the worst news I'd ever received from a physician. It comes down to two days.

Day#1-The day I was told I had prostate cancer
Day#2-The day I was told that even though I had double nerve sparing surgery and participated in
            penile rehab program, I was going to be impotent for the rest of my life.

I've given up trying to decide which of these days was the worst and simply decided both days brought miserable and unwanted change into my life.  Recently I was reminded that losing your health isn't the only type of unwanted change.

Once a year the city of Carmel (in California) has Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Day on the beach. My daughter knows how much I enjoy attending this event so she booked a hotel so we could all enjoy this event with Toby, our King Charles Spaniel. I was touched by her generous gift. I was looking forward to this event so much it was one of the highlight events of the year for me. It wasn't only my daughter's generosity that touched me. I know she hates hanging out on the beach. She agreed to stay on the beach with us for as long as I wanted to be there. She was giving me the gift of her time to do something I enjoyed so much. It was a gift I'll remember for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy it.

Hours before our trip to Carmel, Toby escaped from our yard.  He was struck by a car. He died in my wife's arms before we could get him medical attention. I've had dogs in my life for close to sixty years. Toby was one of my favorite dogs. He's the only dog I've ever had who didn't live until a ripe old age. Toby was two years old. He died on the day we were taking him to Carmel to enjoy a day at the beach with other Cavalier Spaniels. To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement. I was devastated. Not only for my loss, but my daughter was as close to Toby as a dog and a human can be. She shared her pillow with Toby every night. My wife was deeply attached to Toby as well. I was grieved for my own loss, and the loss my wife and daughter faced as well. Grief on top of grief.

With broken hearts, we cancelled our trip to Carmel. We spent that weekend sharing our sadness and grief over this sudden and unexpected loss. Chalk up another unwanted change in our lives. Unwanted change comes in different forms. Most come unexpectedly. These events change your life in ways you intensely dislike.

Coping with unwanted change is an important life skill, but no one ever prepares you to face these inevitable and unwanted changes. It seems we are left to our own devices to find our own way in the school of hard knocks.

I don't know how anyone can successfully emerge from unwanted changes as a more compassionate person without a faith in God. Going through unwanted change with God allows us to experience this:

 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, (2 Cor 1:3-4 NKJV)

I don't know about you, but I need God's comfort when I face each and every unwanted change in my life. There's more God has in mind to do with our unwanted changes and the experience of His comfort. He has mission and purpose for us after we receive His comfort:

that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Cor 1:4 NKJV)

It's God's plan to use the comfort we receive in our unwanted changes to transform us into helpers and comforters of others who go through similar unwanted changes. My prostate cancer blog wouldn't exist if this were not true.

My wife and I would never have written a book to help men and couples cope with prostate cancer if this were not true. We wouldn't be publishing our second book (this summer)  about coping with erectile dysfunction and penile implants if this were not true.

My best advice in coping with unwanted change is this:
1. Don't go through it alone, put together a team of people to help and comfort you
2. Find people further along in the journey you are on and put a few of those folks on your team.
3. Find people with a good sense of humor. Laughter is an essential part of healing.
4. Don't miss out on God's comfort. Grow in your faith.
5. Somewhere down the road become a comforter to someone else.
6. Allow God to do His work in the mists of all your unwanted change: we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance;  and perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Rom 5:3-4 NKJV)

Some unwanted changes are awful and tragic and will always be awful and tragic. That does not mean we can't experience meaning and purpose in the mists of all of our unwanted changes. I know I have and I believe you can as well.

Seven Things You Need to Know BEFORE Your Prostatectomy

Before any surgery it's necessary to sign a consent to treat form which lists the risks involved with the surgery you're agreeing to. Here's a list of seven risks of prostate surgery you may not be informed of
1. The possibility of life-long leaking of urine
2. Climacturia-Leaking of urine before or during orgasm
3. Penile shrinkage
4. Change in the intensity of orgasms
5. Loss of ejaculation
6. A permanent change in the level of hardness of your erection
7. Loss of Libido-(interest in sex)

If you've had prostate surgery, we're you informed of these risks? If you know someone who is considering a prostatectomy (a surgery to remove the prostate) share this blog with them. Advise them to print this out to discuss these risks with their surgeon.

Believe me when I warn you that reading the seven risks is a whole lot easier than living with the reality of a single one of these risks.

Rick Redner and his wife Brenda are the author of I Left My Prostate In San Francisco-Where's Yours?

Everything You NEVER Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants Press Release

Here's the press release I'm considering for our new book which will be released this summer. Comments are welcome.

Uplifting New Book Shares How You Can Get Take Back What Erectile Dysfunction Takes Away – A Life-Changing Story of a Couple’s Journey With Impotence & Penile Implant Surgery.

Written by award winning authors, Richard and Brenda Redner, ‘Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants’ reaches out to the thirty-million American men suffering from Erectile Dysfunction, with a heartfelt message that romance and sexual fulfillment is still possible. Rick thought he’d lost it all after treatment for prostate cancer left him impotent, but thanks to penile implant surgery, the Redners now enjoy a life of passion and satisfaction that exceeded their hope and expectations. It’s a story that can easily become yours if you are coping with erectile dysfunction.

For Immediate Release

Modesto, CA –  Rick Redner was one of the thirty-million U.S. men who suffered with a medical condition that robbed him of his manhood, left him seriously depressed, and caused him to believe his wife would be better off without him. 

In a compelling and potentially life-changing new book, ‘Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants’ is a rarely told and unique story that could help millions of men find an effective form of treatment to restore their erectile functioning, lost manhood, and sex life. 

Synopsis:

After Rick was diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer, he and his wife struggled as they adjusted to a four-year journey coping with erectile dysfunction. After exhausting all forms of treatment, Rick was told he’d be impotent for the rest of his life. Unwilling to live with that loss, Rick made a decision to undergo penile implant surgery. As a couple, Rick & Brenda candidly share their journey before and after implant surgery. They share their victories, defeats, and the life-changing lessons they learned along the way. They guide men and couples through depression, grief, and the relational conflicts that typically occur when couples find themselves coping with erectile dysfunction.

After reading their story you’ll know how to overcome the various roadblocks, which prevent men and couples from developing a satisfying relational and sex life. You’ll learn how you can end the silence, sadness, suffering, and shame associated with erectile dysfunction. 

Unfortunately, most men coping with erectile dysfunction are not informed about the life changing option of a penile implant. Rick & Brenda take you from the hospital and into their bedroom in order for you to know the intimate details of how this surgery will change your emotional, psychological, relational, and sexual life. You’ll discover how romance and sexual fulfillment are possible with or without a penile implant.

While there are many effective treatment options available to restore erectile functioning, unfortunately, what you don’t know can hurt you. Rick decided to write this book after receiving a letter from a widow whose husband was cured of prostate cancer. Tragically, rather than live the rest of his life impotent, he committed suicide. Rick was convinced he died unnecessarily and unaware of the possibility of penile implant surgery. 

Rick and Brenda want to spread the word that penile implants have the highest user and partner satisfaction rates of all the treatment options available for erectile dysfunction. It is within the realm of possibility to get back what you thought was lost forever. 

Rick says “Erectile dysfunction is a thief. In a relatively short period of time living with ED, all of your previously exciting erection-producing triggers elicit painful emotions, such as disappointment, frustration, anger, and shame. In order to protect themselves from experiencing these powerfully unpleasant feelings, men will actively avoid any actions or behaviors that are associated with their previously exciting sexual triggers. That’s one of the reasons why most men withdraw from all forms of physical affection. Holding hands, backrubs, kissing each other, and all other forms of affection, become bitter reminders of what’s lost.”

As Brenda reflects on the changes brought about by penile surgery she says: “Our sexual relationship has blossomed to a point beyond what we could have ever imagined. Creatively we have grown to love and cherish each other more than ever.”

One year after surgery, Rick and Brenda are having the time of their lives. After their first romantic vacation of 2016, Rick said “Unlike many of our romantic vacations before my implant surgery, a few nasty vacation crashers did not join us on our get-away. My vacation crasher named worry can no longer rob me of my joy. Two other vacation crashers, disappointment and failure, can no longer mess with my confidence or manhood. They’re all banished from my vacations, my bedroom, and my life.” 

If erectile dysfunction has stolen your manhood, caused an increase in tension, fighting or loneliness in your relationship, or caused you to believe you have nothing to offer, you’ll want to read the inspiring journey Rick & Brenda share with you in their newly released book ‘Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants’ 

For more news and information, visit their website at: http://www.whereisyourprostate.com/

About the Authors: 

Rick Redner received his Masters Degree in Social Work from Michigan State University. He has experience working as a medical and psychiatric social worker.

Brenda Redner received her RN/BSN at Michigan State University. She has experience in oncology, home health nursing, psychiatric nursing, and teaching. She’s home-schooled each of their four children.

Rick & Brenda are the authors of the awarding winning book I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where’s Yours?

Contact: Richard Redner & Brenda Redner / copingwithed@gmail.com / 209-345-3278