Do You HATE Living with Erectile Dysfunction? If so DO SOMETHING!

One of the most unpleasant and emotionally devastating side effects of treating prostate cancer is the loss of your erectile abilities. In reaction to this loss, most men get highly irritable.

They use anger to shut down discussions, They withdraw from their partners emotionally and physically. There is an up tick in marital discord. The relationship with your partner deteriorates. To cope with depression men often resort to mood altering behaviors. Some examples are:

• Alcohol
• Drugs, 
• TV time
• Computer time
• Pornography 
• Flirting
• Affairs
• Prostitution

Unfortunately, shame and depression can keep men away from the healthy choices available to them. Erectile Dysfunction is treatable. Finding the right treatment involves discovering the underlying cause. I've heard the same complaints over and over again from the partners of men coping with ED.

• He refuses to talk about ED
• He won't go to the doctor
• Every time I bring up the subject he'll either walk away or get angry
• He's abandoned me emotionally
• He's abandoned me sexually
• He won't even touch me anymore
• I feel I'm living by myself, all alone this relationship
• He spends most of his free time zoned out by the TV or Computer
• He drinks alcohol frequently

If your partner is familiar with any of the issues listed above (ask them don't decide this on your own) it's time you get help. You haven't lost your manhood because you've lost your erectile functioning. You've given up your manhood because you refuse to seek help.

  I urge all men to  overcome your embarrassment, shame and/or resistance and speak to a physician about their erectile dysfunction. If you hate living with ED anywhere near as much as I did, get over your resistance and make an appointment for a medical exam. For the majority of men, there are treatment options that will restore your erectile abilities. 

I was not in the majority of men. Prostate surgery was the cause of my ED. Both before and after surgery I was told that my erectile functioning would return. To insure that possibility I participated in an aggressive penile rehabilitation effort which included penile injections. When injections stopped working, I experienced occasional success with ED medications. These successes fueled our hope and our expectation  that my nerve bundles would heal.

We maintained our hope for four years until every treatment method available began failing 100% of the time. Then came that fateful day when my Urologist told me the healing period was over. He gave me the awful news that I'd be impotent for the rest of my life. I left that appointment feeling hopeless and depressed.

I knew one thing and one thing only- I did not want to spend the rest of my life impotent. Do you? I did what I do best when I want to learn about something new. I went on-line to research treatment options for impotence.

I came across what I thought was an amazing option. In the medical field its called a "penile prosthesis."  I never liked that term, I don't know why. I prefer the other term used called a "penile implant."

I was amazed with these four facts:

1. This form of treatment has the highest patient satisfaction rate than any other form of treatment available for ED.
2. My Urologist NEVER mentioned this option to me
3. My insurance company would pay for the procedure
4. There was not a single book I could find from a patient's or couples point of view about living an implant.

As much as I wanted to keep my decision to have a penile implant private it became quite clear to me this wasn't an option. Too many men and couples were struggling like we were.  I decided two things.

First, I was getting a penile implant.

 Second, I was going to write about my experiences in real time and put together a book after I had some time to live with an implant. I was delighted when my wife Brenda, agreed to write two chapters.

Our book is now available on Amazon. We’ve received great reviews but more importantly we are providing couples with the tools they need to discuss erectile dysfunction in relationship changing ways.

In the book my wife and I wrote together we discuss the ways in which ED causes conflict, and how to diminish your shame in order to discuss the issue without the presence of anger and defensiveness.

We help couples understand how to resume a meaningful sexual relationship, when all the triggers and motivation you’ve relied upon are transformed into feelings of shame.

After spending years coping with erectile dysfunction, depression, constant marital tension and fighting, we had to seek professional help to save our marriage. We decided open up our relationship, our conflicts and our success in saving our marriage with other couples who are struggling. Here’s what a man wrote after reading our book:

This book has immediately changed the dynamic between my wife and I.”

Don’t let erectile dysfunction steal your manhood. Don’t let ED destroy your sex life.
You owe it to yourself and your relationship to get help in the comfort and privacy of your own home.

You can read this book alone, but to get the most effective change read the book together and discuss the questions with the same attitude to have when you research a topic on the web. You don’t get angry, or defensive reading research from the library or internet, so approach the questions at the end of each chapter in same way.

If you still think all I’m doing is promoting this book go on Amazon and read the reviews. Here’s the link:

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants

We wish you the best, and we remain committed to personally communicate with the men and couples who read our books.

We also wrote another award winning life changing, couple changing book as well:

Rick Redner MSW, Brenda Redner RN, are the authors of an awarding winning book written to help men and couples cope with life without a prostate. You can read the first few pages at no charge here:

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?