Crawling to the Finish Line

Most of my friends, family, and acquaintances, who were diagnosed with different forms of cancer died within a year of their initial diagnosis. That's the reason I thought my diagnosis of prostate cancer was a death sentence.

It wasn't long before I had an inventory of events I wouldn't long enough to see. Here's a few items on that list:
1. Meeting my first grandchild- I've met three!
2. Celebrating my 35th wedding anniversary-I recently celebrated my 38th anniversary.
3. Walking my daughter down the aisle-That's a year or two away.
4. Retirement-A few days away!

Since my prostate was removed I have had carpel tunnel surgery, a rotator cuff repaired, and penile implant surgery, My gallbladder was removed, and my knee was replaced. I've been through physical therapy and three spinal injections to treat disabling back pain.

In my first year of retirement, I'm expecting cataract surgery, neural ablation, and another shoulder surgery. Chronic pain, sleepless nights, limited mobility, and a drastic decrease in my level of energy wasn't in my life plan for retirement.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm extremely grateful I've lived long enough to retire, but it's not what I expected. I imagined hitting the finish line in a track outfit and fancy running shoes. Instead, I'm hobbling to the finish line, sometimes on my hands and knees. I feel I have the energy of someone one hundred years old.

On the second week before my retirement I experienced a six day episode of chronic diarrhea. This meant I was in the bathroom multiple times per hour around the clock. I lost twelve pounds in five days. I felt so weak I didn't want to get off the couch. I was a prisoner in my own home.

I felt terrible for my wife

Two years ago I purchased an RV. I put a cross country RV trip on my bucket list.

I'm exercising, changing my diet  and losing weight. I'm frustrated beyond words when all I want to do is crash on the couch.  

It feels as though my world is getting smaller at a time when I thought it would expand.

Life is like that. Much of what we hoped for, dreamed of, and planned for may never come to pass. I survived prostate cancer, then waves of other illnesses and diseases strike.

Update 1 year later:

Another neural ablation, and another carpel tunnel surgery BUT before those hit my wife and I had an amazing opportunity to take an RV trip to visit family in Illinois.

With the COVID epidemic rampant we can’t fly to see the birth of our grandson, but it looks like I’ll be healthy enough for another RV trip from CA to Illinois. I made it to the finish line!