What Prostate Cancer Took Away

I've lived as a prostate cancer survivor for ten years. During that time I've recognized that cancer took six things away:

*The illusion of my mortality.

•My future plans

•My sense of good health

•My financial safety net

•My status in the world- I no longer reside in the land of the healthy, I’m a cancer survivor who is reminded with yearly tests the cancer could return.

The last thing it took away was by far the worst. After double sparing nerve surgery, I was told I’d get back my erectile abilities.

Despite years of penile rehabilitation which went as far as penultimate injections, even that stopped working.

I never realized how much of my sense of being a man was linked to my erectile abilities, until I no longer felt like a man.

I was so ashamed, that I avoided all physical signs of affection because they all reminded me that I was impotent.

I didn’t realize this at the time, but the loss of all physical affection was a deeper disappointment and wound to my wife, than my losing my erectile abilities.

Both of us became angry and frustrated. Our marital tension and fighting became unbearable. In a way I was relieved, because this was in my mind confirmation that my wife would be better off without me. 

I wanted her to divorce me and remarry to a fully functioning man. I was convinced I was too flawed to expect my wife to say with me until death do us part.

At this point, I’ve heard from many men whose wife left them. Whether it was a result of erectile dysfunction or not, I assumed it was.

Since my first marriage ended in divorce after discovering that my wife cheated on me (when I was fully sexually functional) I thought it would be impossible for my wife to remain faithful while I was impotent. I wanted her to leave me before the inevitable affair.

Little did I know, or believe at the time, my wife took her wedding vows seriously and literally. She was in for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

To preserve our marriage we went into counseling. We began treating each other with respect and kindness. (Made easier because I wasn’t trying to tick my wife off so she would leave me.)

We found ways to have a mutually satisfying sex life. I had no idea a man with erectile dysfunction could experience an orgasm. Not as good or intense as before. 

This meant I experienced disappointment and grief after every orgasm. It took me a while to adjust to the new normal.

I never stopped missing the physical and emotional oneness that comes from intercourse. 

Which is why I decided to research penile implant surgery.

I decided to go for implant surgery. It was one of the best decisions in my life. Both my wife and I wouldn’t trade our sex life in our 20’s for our sex life in our 60’s. Meaning sex is better now than at any other time in our forty year marriage. 

We got back what prostate cancer took away.

We decided to write what would become an award winning book for folks who want to preserve their relationship, survive erectile dysfunction, and/or have penile implant surgery.

The title of our book is:

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants

Read the reviews. This book will change the way men and couples cope with erectile dysfunction.