Healing Frequently Involves Pain

These are thoughts I’ve had since I came home from carpel tunnel surgery this morning. 

I’m sharing it here because life without a Prostate involves coping with physical, emotional, relational, and sexual struggles/pain. 

I’m thinking of a wife who wrote me about her husband whose Prostate removal cured his cancer. Unfortunately for him, surgery left him impotent.

He began drinking heavily. He withdrew from his marriage, and refused to get help.

Eventually, he killed himself. Cured of cancer, he died by this own hand, because he believed impotence took away his value as a man, and partner.

His suicide left life long scars upon his widow and family.  

Here’s my thoughts:

I’m been experiencing and thinking about pain since I came home from surgery this morning.

There’s harmful pain that comes as result of injury, illness, diseases, or accidents. 

Then there’s restorative pain like I’m feeling now. It is necessary for me to experience this high degree of post-surgical pain to bring about healing.

What’s true in the in the physical realm is also true in the emotional realm.

If we deny, or ignore, our emotional pain put it in tuppperware, thinking it’s safely stored away; it ISN’T. The Tupperware leaks, sometimes rapidly, sometimes it leaks over the course of days, weeks, months, years, or decades.

The familiar expression that time heals all wounds is 100% false. The passage of time, by itself has no healing properties. Something must occur over the course of time in order to heal

Here are some similarities between physical and emotional wounds, and healing:

•The most serious wounds take  the longest to heal.

•Some wounds are so difficult or deep to treat it requires a professional to aid in the healing process process.

•What prevents people from seeking the help they need is the fear of the pain that must be felt/experienced in the healing process.

•Allowing the injury to fester will cause it to get worse over the course of time and be more difficult to cope with.

•Untreated pain can ruin your family, your marriage, your children, your career, your faith, and your testimony. A series of self destructive choices may cost you your life.

We are given the freedom of choice to either flee from our pain, or face/embrace our pain in order to heal.

Based on my previous carpel tunnel surgery I was  unpleasantly surprised with the intensity of the pain post surgery I’ve felt all day.

The pain is so high, I can’t hold or pick up my IPhone with my left hand. Which means there’s a lot of things I’m unable to do for myself or help during Thanksgiving. In fact I might need a lot of help. I’m not sure all be able to dress myself.

I’ve put my wife through this so many times it only took me a few hours before I began to think maybe I belong in the husband junkyard, so my wife could trade me in for a healthier model.

That’s the risk you face choosing to heal. You can’t predict the type of issues, severity, or the duration of the pain necessary in order to heal.

Personally, I think the pain and suffering is worth it, when it leads to physical and/or  emotional healing. 

Rick Redner & his wife Brenda Redner authored two award winning books, both available on Amazon. They are:  

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where’s Yours?

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction & Penile Implants