Eleven Struggles After Prostate Cancer Treatment

Coping with prostate cancer is an ongoing challenge that rarely ends when you complete your treatment.

I was reading a thread in a prostate cancer support forum that asked the following question:

Was your greatest battle with prostate cancer:

A. Before treatment. 

B. During treatment. 

C. After treatment.

Most of the men chose "C," After treatment because they were living with a host of quality-of-life issues following their prostate cancer treatment.

When I applied the question to my personal experiences as a prostate cancer survivor, there was no doubt that "C" was my answer.

I'm going to supply some abbreviations to make it easier to think about and share some of the quality-of-life issues men and couples face before, during, and after prostate cancer treatment.

• ED: Erectile dysfunction.

• UL: Urinary leakage.

• SE: Side effects of treatment.

• DT: Distressing thoughts or fears.

• MT: Marital tension or increased fighting.

• LM: Lost Manhood.

• D or B: Divorce or breakup.

• BP: Bowel problems.

• LL: Lower libido; a drop or total loss of sexual desire.

• TS: Trouble sleeping.

• BS: Bladder Spasms 

• FP: Financial problems because of missed work or the cost of treatment.

I'm asking everyone who reads this to share when their biggest struggles occurred and to share a few of those struggles.

I'll start. It was difficult and extremely stressful to receive the news that I had prostate cancer, but my biggest battles occurred after my treatment.

I suffered from all of these listed below:

• ED: Erectile dysfunction. Neither ED medication or penile injections worked effectively 

• UL: Urinary leakage.

• SE: Side effects of treatment.

• DT: Distressing thoughts or fears.

• MT: Serious Marital Tension 

• LM: Depression over Lost Manhood 

• BS Bladder Spasms requiring prescription medication 

• LL: Lower libido: I was totally disinterested in sex or offering my wife every form of physical affection.

• TS:I had trouble sleeping. There were times I needed prescription medications 

• FP: Financial problems. I faced a $6,000 deductible, times two. The first $6,000 went toward surgery. The second $6,000 went for penile implant surgery. Twelve-thousand dollars put a huge hole in my savings account and delayed my retirement plans. 

Due to serious marital problems that arose with the life changes of living without a prostate, we needed to get professional counseling to save our three decade old marriage.

There’s little doubt in my mind that are marriage would NOT have survived if we avoided professional counseling.

When did your biggest challenges and struggles coping with cancer occur?

A.  Before

 B. During

 C. After treatment

What if any steps have you taken to cope with/solve the challenges you face?

Note: This article appeared in Prostate Cancer News Today 

Rick Redner and his wife Brenda Redner wrote two award-winning books. The first:

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?

provides men and couples with information and support before, during and after prostate surgery.

Their second book was written for couples living with!erectile dysfunction. After living with erectile dysfunction for four years, Rick chose penile implant surgery. The couple share how implant surgery changed their lives and relationship.

The title of their book is:

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Erectile Dysfunction and Penile Implants